100 reasons its great to be a guy...

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and barbers don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why "Stripes" is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment".
26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
27. You never have to clean a toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34. You don't have to shave below your neck.
35. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president...in this lifetime.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
69. Same work...more pay!
70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. SportsCenter.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Diana's death was just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There's always a game on somewhere.

Tired,Sore,Bored,Exhausted.....but in a great mood

-Saints are in the superbowl....for real.

-Rumor: Kurt Warner is supposed to announce retirement tomorrow morning.

-Obama's speech last night was very well spoken...for a bunch of lies and fake promises.

-The iPad is a bad idea....its just like a giant iPhone with no "phone"

-On another note: The iPhone=Greatest invention ever

-Sportsbore.com=Daily Greatness

-Super Bowl prediction- Saints-24 Colts-21, I really think the saints are gonna win this game with the run and force Peyton Manning to stay off the field. Late drive by the saints puts them up by 3, saints make defensive stop to end the game.

-I want one of these in my house

-I find it funny how Tim Tebow is often referred to as the best college player to have ever played but he wont start in the nfl...he might not even be second string...wierd

-Blu-ray's are slowly taking over dvd's ive noticed...its about half and half at blockbuster

-The absolute perfect girl

-You Learn somethin new everday

-When you're little and you pray its mostly about pointless things. Like for new toys, or for a puppy, etc etc...heres some more examples

Im really starting to realize how close april 14th is. Im excited. Im nervous. Im anctious. Im scared. but most of all I'm ready.

Super Bowl Bound

Brace yourself...

what im about to write has never been said before...The New Orleans Saints, are Super Bowl bound. Defense stepped up big causing 5 turnovers. And there is a new hero in the city of New Orleans and his name isnt Brees, Bush, Colston, or Shockey...Its Hartley, Garrett Hartley...all 5'8 and 190 lbs of him straight outta Southlake Carroll Garrett motha effin Hartley...and hes my new best friend. 5 minutes into OT Garrett put it thru the uprights as straight as could be sending the saints to their first ever super bowl. There hasnt been many high points in the saints history but this by far passes up every single thing that ever happened in New orleans Saints history and possibly the cities history in general. I was completely frozen as i watched the ball go thru the posts and im not afraid to say that at that moment my eyes werent very dry lol. Bless you Boys and watch out Miami...theirs gonna be a black and gold superbowl!! heres the highlights if u missed it..

Legitttttt

So I found these yesterday looking at acoustic covers on youtube...I might actually like these better than the originals...

Lots of thoughts...

So I saw that they have a text message donation thingamajig set up to where if u text "haiti" to 90999 it will take a 10 dollar donation out of ur next phone bill to donate to the American Red Cross relief efforts...thats kinda cool except...since when do people "TELL" you how much to donate? Heres a thought ill tell you what I wanna give and you be happy with what I give you. Dont get me wrong its awesome how much we're helping them but Im not gonna donate to a company that has a required donation amount. Plus if you donate it the money doesnt get sent till ur next phone bill so it might be a month before they even get the money!

My Saints romped the Cards. The Cowboys got romped by the Vikes. Great Weekend.

Ive always been a Brett Favre fan. Even when I was little I can remember liking him because his last name just didnt make sense to me..."wait its pronounced farve? not favor?" lol...Now he's comin down to the big easy to take on my saints and although im still a fan...I really pray we stomp the daylights out of him...but on the other hand if we do lose I will be his biggest fan in the super bowl. If the saints happen to make it to the super bowl and win im goin down to new orleans for the parade and thats final! anyone wanna come? Im serious...Im goin...

Cowboys Linebacker Keith Brooking is very upset about the fourth down touchdown that favre threw with 2 minutes to go...he must also be upset about how favre dissected the boys' defense all day long...Hey Keith if ur so mad about it how bout you do ur job and stop him? k thanks...douscher

Im pretty sure that thing they found in runaway bay isnt a chupacabra. Its probably just some sort of inbred raccoon lol.

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS! are you kidding me? they werent even supposed to make the playoffs and now they're in the afc championship?? what is this world coming to...

Fox Sports has the absolute hottest sports anchor of all time....OF ALL TIME! haha I made a Kanye joke...

Im out peoples.

Stay True. Stay You.

TeeJay

Wednesday...is a weirdly spelled word

- Colt Mccoy got engaged to that blondie from baylor, lucky dude.

- Alabama sent the BCS national championship trophy for a wal mart photo op....strange people over there in bama' I tell ya.

- I watched "The Hurt Locker" last night, its definitely not like most war movies but its still awesome.

- I want a pool table badly...sell me one for cheap??

- WTF?

- American Idol started last night and was quite enjoyable without that crackhead Paula Abdul.

- but on the other hand it kinda sucked

- the "words with friends" iphone app is the best time waster ever.

- Lane Kiffin sucked in Oakland. Lane Kiffin sucked at Tennessee. What does USC want with him?

- I know you've all wondered, "i wonder what tommy the green power ranger is doing now?" well my friends he's bacccccckkkk in a different kind of fight.

- NFL Playoff Pick'em

- Saints 34 -- Cardinals 21

- Cowboys 28 -- Vikings 27

- Colts 24 -- Ravens 21

- Chargers 31 -- Jets 13

- Crazy lil asians

- Jon and kate plus 8 was never on my tivo list but I find it really funny that they got divorced and kate got really hott and Jon just got fat lol.

Im Out Peoples

Stay True. Stay You.

TeeJay

Monday...SSDD

So I'm glad wind pants are kinda water resistant since I just spilled water all over my crotch lol...So I talked to my recruiter yesterday about SWCC and all that stuff and now all I gotta do is pass my PST and we can get the ball rolling with that.
PST Minimums-
1.) 500 yard swim under 13 minutes
2.) 42 push-ups in 2 minutes
3.) 50 Sit-ups in 2 minutes
4.) 6 Dead hang Pull-ups
5.) 1 1/2 miles in 12:30

Yeah so in other words its gonna suck lol. But anyways...Looks like my saints will play the Cardinals this weekend. Hopefully all our guys are healthy and we get back to how we were playin at the beginning of the year.

Shred the Gnar..

Surfing is getting absolutely ridiculous. How do you even go about pulling this off? wtf man?! dudes gotta be on roids...

Tuesday Morning Ramble...

-TCU kinda dissapointed me last night. bummer.

- apparently people dont read my blog enough to remember that you shouldnt wear gobs of cologne at the gym

- I want a T-Rex

-Fox 4's morning news is actually pretty funny

-How come people always say "Hi how are you?" when i know deep down they really could care less?

-Skipping 2 weeks of working out is a horrible idea

-Im ready for April 14, 2010

-The Cowboys are scary good right now...The saints are just scaring me period.

-Chris Johnson Rushed for 2,006 yards this year and his team missed the playoffs. what gives?

-Acoustic covers of rap songs on youtube are neat. heres my favorite. Replay Cover

-Adam James is a little bitch. Along with his dad.

-I hope Texas just flattens alabama, *cough saban sucks cough*, but i dont think thatll happen

-Gilbert arenas is a dumbass.

-I miss wakeboarding. And skateboarding. And surfing. I miss summer in general.

-Did I mention Im ready for April 14th?

Im Out Peoples

Stay True. Stay You.

TeeJay

Just sleep through the static...

So New Years Eve and New Years Day kinda sucked. Pretty uneventful. Actually completely uneventful. I love my friends I have here back in wise county, but I miss the guys that arent ever here.

Getting things started with a girl sux when u know ur gonna leave in three months. So Im pretty sure im gonna stray away from doing that until I get a little more settled down after basic training and all that stuff.

Wearin my purple tee today gotta support those frogs!!

I wanna be just like travis pastrana. I want his life. Whats G? I think he created G. Heres a trailer for his new movie. Yeah and if ur wondering, at 2:04 in the vid he jumps out of a plane with no parachute...GANGSTA!! haha




Im not looking foward to the mass amount of people flooding to the gym for their "new years resolution". Dont get me wrong I think its awesome to see people tryin to be healthy but if ur gonna do it stick with it. In other words, dont be a bitch lol.

Ive recently gotten away from drawin and stuff and it bums me out but i just never have time. Im gonna do some new stuff today though i think since ive got nothin to do today at work. but we'll see.

Download-
Jack Johnson- Sleep through the static

Im Out Peoples

Stay True. Stay You.

TeeJay